Friendship

Today I watched a movie and in the movie the topic of friendship came up. The main character said how important friendship is and how much more valuable it is than anything you ever want in life.
I started thinking about that and realized how right that man in the movie was. I now value my friendships more than ever before.
In the past, friends were people you just have around you, from all different walks of life, past, present, through school, sports, mostly through their kids people make friends and lots of aquaintances too. When I was younger I was glad to have friends being in a foreign country and having to leave all my friends so far in Germany. Over the years I realized that sometimes these friendships could be hard work. There were arguments, "he said she said" kind of situations and sometimes I found that some friends were not such good friends for me anymore. Having kids and having friends with no kids changed a lot of perspectives. Then there were certain friends for certain things. Some friends were good shopping friends, some were good playground friends, some you met only on the sideline of sports, there were friends you met at work, and others you could talk on the phone with for hours. Friends were just like icing on the cake. The cake was my family and the friends were a nice fluffy sweet extra. Not really needed but not bad to have.
Getting older, I felt it was important to surround myself with friends who make me feel happy, no downers, complainers or people who only want to unload their problems with me. It was hard to distance myself from people who I felt I had not much in common with anymore, because I did not want to hurt anyone's feelings.
NOW, all is so different. NOW I totally understand the REAL value of a friend the man in the movie was talking about. When I used to have all these goals in my life of wanting to have a nicer car, a bigger house and a job that earns me more money, I did not pay enough attention to REAL friendship. It was just part of my life, they were just there.
NOW, I don't want the nicer car, the bigger house or the better job anymore, none of that matters, none of that counts in my life anymore... who cares what care I drive and how big my house is ? If my hair looks great today or weird ??
 What really matters are the friends I have and without those friends I could not get through my days of darkness. I could not step out from under the huge big black blanket of sadness everyday, I would just stay under it and hide and cry.
The friends that I have are next to my family the most important people in my life. I can be myself, I can cry and talk,  and so many of them have open ears and understand my pain, my struggle. The people who tell me that it feels to them almost like they lost their own child are the people I can lean on. The people who encourage me to speak about my son and all the sadness in my heart are the people who help me get up every day and face what is in front of me. The people who know it will never change, the hole in my heart will never close, who don't say "enough already, get over it" those friends make my time here bearable.
Friends are NOW really needed, they are not the fluffy frosting anymore, they are like the daily bread I need to survive.
Thank you ALL my friends for being as awesome and incredible as you are. I truly appreciate each and everyone of you.